The Q and the clone

Seelowe materialized on the bridge and made himself comfortable in the captain’s seat. He enjoyed this part, that brief moment just as they become aware he is there, when the mouths opened and the jaws dropped. He fixed a benign smirk on his face and glanced about, waiting for the first reaction. They were all there, Mason standing in the corner like an iron clad sentinel, Joe working on the underside of a console only his legs and backside sticking out, Miral at the helm concentrating on numbers and star charts, Arado and the Romulan hunched over a display screen deep in discussion, and one other.
“When did they find YOU?” this time it was Seelowe’s jaw that dropped in surprise. He quickly recovered himself as the red headed woman turned and glared at him with her hands on her hips.
“Where did you spring from and what are you doing in my seat?” Mimps Masala demanded.
“You are leading this merry band now?” he rose languidly and swept his arm towards the vacant chair, “By all means. Don’t want you to break out the bat, do we?” he said referring to a past incident when her weapon of choice had been a baseball bat. He moved off to one side and did a quick head count. “By gods we are close,” he thought to himself, “Damn close.”
Masala glared at him again, it was not the first time they had met and the experience left her to consider him more of a hindrance than a help.
“So how does this time travel thing work?” she asked, ignoring Seelowe and addressing the rest of the crew. “As I understand it we have to go back in time to get Hlad.”
“I know the procedure,” Mason said from the corner, “as does my AI.”
“I've gone over the data Colonel Auer gave me,” joined in Tumim, “and have calculated the best time possible to approach the station, it’s about 20 years in the past.”
“I…” began Seelowe then he closed his mouth knowing he can’t interfere.
“Tumim, give Mason the coordinates and let’s go get him,” said Masala falling easily back into the command role as if the months she had been away had never happened.
“Hey Pointy Ears,” chuckled Mason, “give me the temporal time frame and the spatial coordinates and I’ll get the AI to do the rest.” Tumim tossed him a data pad and Mason began inputting the numbers. “Give me a few moments here and we will have the data needed to program the jump.”
“There I think I’ve got it!” came a muffled cry of triumph from inside the console Joe was working on. He wriggled out, stood up, drew a cigar from his pocket and lit it.
“You disabled the fire suppression, huh?” said Seelowe as he watched the cigar glow red at its tip.
Joe blew out a stream of smoke, “Yep,” he said. He grinned around the fat cigar clamped between his teeth.
Mimps watched as Joe savoured his cigar, it was irregular behaviour for a crew member but this was not a regular crew and she could deal with that later, right now she had more important matters. She turned to Seelowe.
“Just what is your part in all this? Why do you want the Carolina?”
“My part?” he raised an eyebrow and affected an expression of mock indignity, “I am merely an observer waiting for quorum to be met which will indicate that the Carolina is about to be found. We have a temporal echo showing certain crew, their attire... once I see it...well...then we can get you people out of this gym locker,” he indicated the small bridge of the Rorschach, “...onto MY ship and to the point in time we know where the Carolina is, but not a moment before." He looked down, momentarily studying his fingernails. “You have any idea where that space pirate Heron is?” he asked casually. “She is in the temporal echo too.”
“Kelly has been lost, we haven’t found any trace of her in this time,” said Mimps with a touch of sadness in her voice. Kelly had served with her on the Carolina, saved her life and the Captain’s on more than one occasion, the thought of perhaps never seeing her again was something Mimps did not want to dwell on.
“I suspect she will find us,” said Seelowe looking up again.
Mimps glared back at him, eyes narrowed with suspicion. “You need us for something, otherwise you would just go get the ship yourself. Why is it so important we are all here together?”
“Let’s say I need you and you need me and leave it at that shall we?” said Seelowe cryptically. “Once on my ship I can tell you more...but not until your..."crew"...is together. So far...you keep pulling up short dear, though I DO commend your efforts.”
“So you are telling me that at some point we do find Hlad and we do find the Carolina. I guess we shouldn’t be worried about this mission then.”
“I’ve never said you should worry. However time is of the essence.”
“Well then, let’s get moving.” Mimps turned to the cyborg standing at the rear of the bridge. “Mason, you ready? Send the coordinates to Miral and let’s get this thing in motion....apparently time is of the essence.” She rolled her eyes towards Seelowe.
“Yeah, the coordinates are ready, this time to within a few milliseconds,” Mason replied as he transmitted the coordinates to Miral at the helm.
“We'll need you two tin cans to lead us in,” said Mimps to Joe and Mason. “I don’t think they will just lay out the welcome mat for us.”
Joe took a last puff of his cigar, stubbed it out on the sole of his boot, returned the stub to his pocket and grabbed his helmet. He listened with satisfaction as the seal hissed and automatically locked it in position then waited for the HUD to boot up and the readouts to appear.
Mason was running through a check list for the jump through time and space.
“Torpedo ready and loaded. Firing sequence ready. Deflectors activated.”
“Go ahead,” said Mimps returning to the command chair, “….engage!”
“Firing sequence activated. Detonation,” intoned Mason from the back of the bridge.
All eyes turned to the view screen as a small red point of incandescence bloomed into a rolling cloud of glowing red and gold with a swirling tunnel of gas forming and expanding in its centre.
“Wormhole stable,” confirmed Mason.

meanwhile…..
Kelly Heron was aboard her commandeered Klingon ship, cloaked and hiding behind an asteroid. They had recently returned from her mission to sabotage the Gibraltar, warn off the Ferengi and delay the Romulans who were all now searching for the Carolina and her crew. They waited patiently, cloaked and powered down, watching the small federation ship on the warbird’s view screen.
There was a beep and a flashing light appeared on a console. A Klingon officer studied the console then glanced nervously at Kelly and said something affirmative to her in Klingon.
Kelly Heron stood up from her chair, "He's there?....finally,” she muttered to herself then switched to Klingon and barked out a command. “Prepare to power up gently and follow them should they move. Blue is our target not the rest of the crew." 
Kelly checked that her blades were sharpened and tipped with green icky Klingon goo of death. It had a name she hadn’t bothered to learn, to her non-Klingon ear it sounded like something that rhymed with phlegm. 
Kelly nodded to the view screen, "Stand by, they are going to jump again," she growled.
The Klingon helmsman was slightly terrified of his new Captain so he knew not to get things wrong. He guided the ship carefully and slowly behind the federation vessel watching his sensors for the right moment to accelerate and follow them into the wormhole…..

“Miral, you have the helm,” said Mimps, “take us in.... or whatever the correct term is for time travel.”
“Aye ma’am,” said Miral smartly. She manoeuvred the ship slowly towards the swirling mass of gas and cloud. The ship shuddered and lurched briefly, her past experience was making each passage smoother than the last. “We are through,” she announced after a few moments. “Laying in a course for the planet.”
“Are you two walking arsenals ready?” asked Mimps turning from the view screen and taking in the various weapons and attachments on Mason and Joe’s body armour.
“Commander we are approaching the planet,” interrupted Miral, “shall I take us into orbit just out of sensor range?”
“Yes Miral, we would prefer it if they didn’t know we were coming.” Even after all the years of serving together Mimps was still impressed by Miral’s efficiency and she was certain that whatever ship she commanded it was in good hands with her Andorian friend at the helm.
Miral DeCuir tapped a few keys and expertly eased the ship into a very high orbit just out of sensor range, “Orbit locked ma’am.”
“Away team to the transporter,” commanded Mimps rising to her feet.
********************
They materialised in a wasteland. Small puffs of dust swirled around as each person reappeared on the planet surface. A crazy jigsaw that was once a paved road stretched ahead of them, destroyed and collapsed buildings were behind them, there was no obvious sign of life anywhere.
“Well this place looks ….cheerful,” said Miral taking out her tricorder.
“Charming countryside,” said Seelowe with his usual sarcasm.
“Looks like a pretty decent world war happened here,” said Mason
“This makes Remus look like a vacation spot,” added Tumim.
Arado was studying his own tricorder, “I am reading elevated tachion emissions, we may have hit a temporal anomaly.”
“This doesn’t look right,” said Mimps frowning and looking around. “There is supposed to be a Romulan security base, we are supposed to find Hlad here. Mason check the coordinates again.”
 “The coordinates were correct…” Mason muttered as he tapped a few numbers into his control panel. “…Oh son of a bitch!” he exclaimed as he stared at the readout.
“What?” said Mimps looking at Mason with an even deeper frown. “Are we in the right location? Are we even on the right planet?”
“No we are not Commander,” said Mason raising his weapon and scanning the horizon. “I’ll give you a hint, and it is only one letter.”
“Not…?”
“The frakking Q,” growled Mason.
“Oh great,” said Mimps with exasperation.
Seelowe stepped forward and made a polite cough, “May I suggest we take some cover before the natives eat us?”
“What natives?” retorted Mimps, “there is no one here.”
Mason continued his scans, “For once I agree with him,” he said gruffly. “I suggest we move to that house over there,” he indicated a dilapidated wooden shack with no windows, a large hole in the roof and several planks missing from the walls. “Should be safe enough there till we can figure out what the frak is happening.”
Unbeknown to the crew Kelly Heron was crouched low on the sand dune hidden by her personal cloaking device. She knew it gave off only minor neutrino emissions and she hoped it would go unnoticed long enough for her to get close to Seelowe Blue. She removed a thin and fragile needle from her belt and moved ever so slightly closer to Blue as the crew studied their tricorders trying to make sense of what had gone wrong in their mission to find Hlad.
Miral’s tricorder gave a beep and she looked down at the results. “I am picking up traces of a temporal weapon having been used somewhere in this area,” she said as they all moved towards the shack, “judging by the decay rate the traces are very very old.  I am also detecting a quantum cromodynamic confinement anomaly - the only thing that could cause that is a temporal weapon of some kind.”
“All this is the result of a temporal weapon,” queried Mimps, “all this destruction?”
“Commander,” shouted Joe who was bringing up the rear, “I am picking up an approaching target.”
They all stopped and turned and watched as a man came walking towards them along the shattered road.
Joe raised his weapon and trained it on the man, “Stay right where you are,” he growled.
“Steady Joe,” said Mimps softly, “don’t blow anyone up just yet.”
“Ah…my favourite band of misfits,” the stranger greeted them with a smile and a mocking sweep of his arm. He was dressed casually with a finely crafted leather jacket and soft boots on his feet. “Yes it was me,” he said apologetically, “I brought you here.”
“And just who are you,” demanded Masala.
“I am part of the Q Continuum,” replied the stranger. Then he turned to Joe and snapped his fingers. Joe suddenly found that his mouth was sealed shut and all his weapons powered down and useless. “We have taken an interest in your little hijinks,” continued Q, totally ignoring Joe who had ripped open his visor and was pawing frantically at his mouth. “I bought you here for a reason.”
Mimps Masala stepped forward and stood squarely in front of Q. “Before you tell us your reason, release my officer,” she demanded.
The Q looked down at Mimps and chuckled, he snapped his fingers again. Joe took a long gasping breath in and looked back at the man with murder in his eyes. Q continued to ignore him. He waved his arm to indicate their desolate surroundings, “This is what will happen to your federation if you don’t find that ship,” he said.
“Man…didn’t see that coming,” said Seelowe with surprise.
“I thought you were supposed to know these things,” said Arado in Seelow’s ear. “Is this an alternate future then?”
Seelowe shrugged.
“Well Q,” said Mimps, “, it’s nice of you to show us this little demonstration, but you could have just sent us a sub space message.”
“Where’s the fun in that,” smirked Q, “you would have missed seeing all this. In fact this house was yours and Arado’s, if I’m not mistaken commander Masala.
Mimp’s eyes widened and her mouth gaped in surprise, she spun around and was met by a similar expression on Arado’s face. “What?...” he spluttered, “…whose?”
Mimps stared at the house, “But...we’re not…we aren’t…we don’t even own a house,” she finally blurted out.
“When your ship wasn’t found it went insane,” said Q strolling over to the house and picking a piece of flaking paint off the door. “It eradicated everything and everyone from its past.”
“The ship must have adapted...become...smarter as it made contact with other races,” said Seelowe. “Gods knows WHAT it might have learned.”
“So because we gave up, this happened?” said Joe, finding his voice again.
“That is correct,” said Q. “In this future you gave up after 10 years of searching.”
Mimps looked a bit closer at the surrounding landscape and said "Oh" very quietly.
“I know we won't be giving up now,” said Miral.
“Couldn’t you have stopped it,” piped up Joe, “you and your little band of merry men?”
“Well, we could have,” said Q brushing paint flakes off the toe of his boots. “It was amusing at first, but then the ship came after us. With all that knowledge it got from Bekkers’ database it discovered a way to actually harm us.”
“So Carolina came after you as well Q? I bet you didn’t like that,” said Mimps with a wry grin. “And now you want us to help you stop her.”
“Oh no, I’m just putting the proverbial fire up your asses so you get it right. You really don’t want this to happen, do you?”
The cloaked Kelly stepped unseen a little closer to Seelowe, the needle primed and in her hand. Q was being a handy distraction as always. She reached out and jabbed Seelowe Blue in the neck with her needle, its tip green with the icky Klingon two stage poison. As she jabbed she made a buzzing noise imitating an insect then quickly withdrew the needle from his skin.
Seelowe slapped his neck and said “Ouch,” then staggered a few steps forward as he felt his knees weaken.
Q turned and watched Seelowe carefully. “What you don’t understand,” he said, “is you are all needed to balance out that ship,” he paused as Seelowe sank to the ground, “and you need to get him to your medical bay.”
They all turned as one and saw Seelowe drop like a rock. He hit the ground hard and lay unmoving.
“What have you done to him Q?” snapped Masala. Joe drew his weapon and pointed it at Q.
“Oh it wasn’t me,” said Q. He glared over Joe’s shoulder and snapped his fingers. “Look behind you human.”
Joe spun around and levelled his gun at the cloaked and hooded figure that had suddenly appeared. “Get down on the ground!” he growled.
The figure drew a small dagger, shook its head and said, “No.”
“Lower the knife and show yourself,” barked Mimps.
“My mission is complete, there is no harm ye can bring to me Joe,” the figure pushed back her hood and revealed her face.
“Kelly?” gasped a shocked Mimps. The bright blue of the one azure eye was unmistakable.
Kelly Heron winked at Mimps, “Ahoy Commander, I kept your seat warm and several dozen folk from catching you,” she said with a grin.
“Kelly what have you done?” said Mimps indicating the prone figure on the ground.
“Removed a clone,” said Kelly grimly. “He was following you and leading you astray all the time…there are millions of them, they will send another now he is gone, we must leave this place fast.”
“Miral was down beside Seelowe scanning him with her tricorder.
“Can we do anything for him?” asked Mimps.
“I can't do much for him here,” she said. “We really need to take him back to the ship....he has been injected with an unknown toxin...”
“Wait a minute...” interrupted Arado, “Millions? Misleading us? What do you mean? Who sent him?”
“Seelowe Blue skewed timeline alpha, he sent us all on this merry goose chase, he hid our true captain from us, the one hidden on the holodeck of the Carolina is our Captain...he’s blissfully unaware he’s in a holodeck western. We have to find Hlad and find the ship, we are running out of time and we have too many people chasing us,” said Kelly earnestly. “I have waylaid the Gibraltar and the Ferengi...I believe we have a Romulan here? Perhaps he can help with the Romulans?”
Tumim cleared his throat uneasily, “I will do what I can, but I'm no match for the entire Empire.”
There was a quiet beep from somewhere under Kelly’s robes. She withdrew a communication device and listened carefully, then she replied briefly in Klingon. “We have unknown vessels approaching this system, we have to leave now, Hlad is clearly not here,” she said urgently.
Just then Miral’s tricorder let out an ominous tone. “Commander,” said Miral quietly, “he is dead.”
Mimps knelt and turned the head of the clone towards her, she knew it wasn’t her Captain but still it bothered her to see the life gone from those familiar features.  “I guess we can’t do anything more here.” She rose and looked around at the circle of crew mates. “Everyone back to the ship.”
“Aye ma’am,” said Miral briskly as she snapped her tricorder shut.
“What do we do with that,” asked Arado. He touched the Seelowe clone gingerly with his boot.
Before anyone could answer Kelly removed a Klingon disrupter from under her cloak and everyone jumped back as she vaporised the body.
“Less baggage the better,” she said coldly.
********************
“Hail that ship that is following us,” said Mimps as soon as she was back in her command chair on the Rorschach.
“It's already moving out of range, she's fast,” said Tumim.
“Get a lock on it and follow,” snapped Mimps.
Miral quickly swung the ship around and followed the departing warbird.
Kelly’s face suddenly appeared on the view screen. “We have minutes before their sensors detect us. We gonna run or fight, Commander?” she asked with a familiar twinkle in her one azure eye.
“I think we should run,” replied Mimps, “we are only two and we are here to find the Carolina not to start a war.”
“Agreed Commander,” Kelly nodded. “But where do we run to?”
“We need to get back to our own time,” said Mason. “I have the coordinates. One thing I am never wrong about is how to get the hell home.”
“Problem is Mason,” said Mimps as she rubbed her temples, “just exactly when is our own time? We have been forward and back so many times I’m losing track.”
“I’m transmitting a file,” said Kelly from the view screen. “It’s time line Alpha. I’ve been mapping it the whole time we’ve all been tearing through it. I’ll be breaking every temporal directive in existence by showing you this, but hey…breaking rules is what I’m best at.”
“Thanks Kelly,” said Mimps and they grinned at each other. “Una and Mason process that time line and get us out of here.”
“I’m on it,” said Arado. Using the file sent by Kelly and the data from their previous jump he was able to quickly open the wormhole. Miral effortlessly moved them through it and Mason sent a parting spread of torpedos towards the incoming enemies just before they disappeared.
“Back where we started,” announced Arado as they reappeared at the other end of the wormhole.
Joe stuck the butt end of his cigar back in his mouth, lit it and inhaled deeply. He sunk back in his chair and let out a long celebratory stream of smoke.
Mimps sniffed the air and glanced over her shoulder at Joe, then she flicked a switch that reinitialised the fire suppression system. The cigar went out, Joe swore and everyone else grinned.
“Right,” said Masala, “now let’s get down to finding out exactly what is going on.”